Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 03:25
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
Why do people love to live alone in a house?
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.
I was tired of fighting.
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.
Cannabis use in any form directly linked to significant risk of heart damage - Earth.com
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
Chinese-Owned Company Halts Work on Factory to Make Batteries in U.S. - WSJ
The sadness was still there.
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
Why do people reject the usage of the Cursor IDE?
You are like me, then.
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.
And the sadness?
Grandfather's simple changes reversed pre-diabetes diagnosis that left him 'petrified' - AOL.com
I was tired of trying and failing.
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
What should we make of Taiwan's move to erase the category "Han" from its official information page?
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
Be who you already are.
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.
Mario Kart World Is Not An Open-World Game, Nintendo Says - GameSpot
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
I had run out of hope.
Measles vaccination rates drop after COVID-19 pandemic in counties across the US - AP News
It’s here now, writing to you.
It’s still here.